UKRAINIAN POLITICS AND BEYOND

Latest from WikiLeaks: The Yanukovych-Santa Claus Correspondence
Source: World Affairs Journal

Dorogoi Santa,

Before I tell you what I want for Christmas, permit me to tell you what I don’t want. Number one: I am sick and tired of being laughed at. Sure, I stole a few horses when I was young; and da, I could lose a little weight and learn how to spel. But enough is enough! Am I the leader or not? Who else wears ostrich-leather shoes? Who else stops traffic when he goes downtown? Who else has billboards all over Kyiv? Number two: I do not want to be photographed next to that little Medvedev. Number three: I do not want Putin to say, “Yo, Yanuk!” That is undignified. “Yo, Proffessor” would be more like it.

Now, here’s what I do want. I’ve been a good malchik. I always smile. I don’t drink Georgian wine. I love Christmas trees. So I think I have a right to ask you for:

· Two helicopters: one to take me to work, one to take me home.

· A rakish mustache, for when I hang out with Sarkozy and Berliozconi.

· Smaller feet, for when I dance the rumba with Angelina Merkel.

You probably thought I’d ask for a successful presidency, right? Wrong! I used to think this job would be tough, but it’s not. I say jump, and they jump. I say make Ukraine rich, and they jump. I say make Ukraine powerful, and they jump. This ruling thing is, as we say in Donetsk, a lump of coal.

Your faithful servant, Viktor Yanukovych

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Dear Viktor,

I admire your self-confidence, but wonder whether it wouldn’t be wise to ask for something more practical. Remember, leaders also need to be loved. Are you?

Yours, Santa
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он прожил яркую жизнь, и стяжал мировую славу.

Взято отсюда.